What I’m Giving Up for Lent
When it comes to holidays, Jews have it pretty rough. On Yom Kippur, we fast for 24 hours in order to atone for our sins. On Passover, we eat bitter herbs dipped in saltwater in order to remind us of the intense struggles that our ancestors endured as they fled Egypt. And, even during all of our happy religious holidays, we still have to spend time with our Jewish families, which, believe me, is punishment enough.
Growing up, I always sort of envied the religious holidays celebrated by my gentile friends. Christmas, obviously, seemed like an absolute blast to celebrate. Easter appeared to just be a massive scavenger hunt for candy, two things that I very much enjoyed as a child. The grass on the other side, so to speak, seemed to be much greener.
Because of this jealousy, I recently decided to celebrate all of the Christian holidays for the rest of this year, just to see how great they really are.
Apparently I picked a bad week to start this resolution, though, because now I’m being told that I have to give up something that I love for Lent… which doesn’t seem fair, at all.
As you all know, I absolutely love my job, eating vegetables, and doing chores. Unfortunately, though, being a Christian for the year comes with some sacrifices. That is why, for the next 40 days, I will do no work, eat no vegetables, and perform no chores, despite my love for them.
Happy Lent, everybody, and good luck achieving your goals.