Welcome Back To My Ex-Situationship (And Her Sister)
Who Were Formerly In Time-Out For Breaking Up With Me Via Text
Let’s all give a warm, Toilet Read welcome back to my ex-situationship and her sister, who were formerly in a two-week Toilet Read time-out. The time-out was on account of the fact that my ex broke up with me over text, even though we were close enough to have her sister subscribe to my daily, satire newsletter.
You might think that it is childish to unsubscribe an ex-situationship from my satirical newsletter, and perhaps even more childish to unsubscribe her sister from it as well. But folks, what if my ex’s sister just forwarded every Toilet Read email to my ex even though I was specifically trying to punish my ex by leaving her life completely satire-less without me? That would’ve been absolutely terrible! So I had to unsubscribe them both; I simply had no choice! Surely you guys get it.
But, to reiterate, they’re back. They’ve served their time. They’ve potentially learned their lesson. Listen, people make mistakes! I certainly don’t. But some people definitely do. I know because of the whole ‘text breakup’ situation. And the best thing to do when someone makes a mistake is to forgive them (after two long weeks of putting them in Toilet Read time-out).
Congratulations to my ex-situationship and her sister. Your time-out is officially over. The dark days are behind you. The light has returned to your lives. Don’t do anything to get your access revoked again!
And to the rest of my readers (and their siblings), let this be a lesson not to break up with me over text, because I do not like that very much.
if u can't do the time don't do the crime
congrats zoe! welcome back 🤝