As you all know, I’m trying to gain credibility on my Substack. One way in which I planned on doing this was by interviewing a famous person. Having never interviewed anyone before, though, I wanted to meet with a normal person first, as a practice run, before jumping straight into the deep end with a celebrity.
Yesterday I was thrilled to sit down with Sam Grossman (virtually) and get to know a bit more about my friend’s past, present, and future.
Andrew Greene: Tell the readers a little bit about yourself; how old are you? What are you currently up to in life? How do you and I know each other? Give us a quick one minute intro into the world of Sam Grossman.
Sam Grossman: My name is Sam Grossman, I am 22, I am studying the law right now, and I know Andrew from our years in undergraduate after he was a transfer from Colgate and we were in the same pledge class in our fraternity.
I remember very distinctly the time that Andrew, very deadpan seriously, convinced me that he was one of the top piano players on the East Coast and then sat down at the piano and started smashing his hands on the keyboard.
Doesn’t sound like me.
The next question is how does it feel to just be a regular guy, not even a little bit of a celebrity?
You know, it feels honestly a little bit relieving because every day I look in the news and I see these celebrities getting lambasted by the liberal media and, in all honesty, I like just being able to go into my cocoon every night without people wondering where I am or what I’m doing.
Oh interesting, that leads very nicely into my next question. If you could be famous, would you? And in what capacity? Would you want to be a little bit famous and recognized by only some hardcore fans, would you want to be Justin Bieber level famous, or would you not want to be famous at all.
Ok ok, this is a good question. I think if I were to be famous, I would want to go all out and I would want to be Justin Bieber famous. And that’s because if you’re a little bit famous, you’re still very susceptible to all of the whims and ups and downs of the world. If an average C-list celebrity is seen walking through the park and spitting on the grass, that might bring them some negative press. When you're Justin Bieber level famous though, no one gives a shit what you do, because your fame transcends everything else.
Yeah I get that, you almost have a God-like presence if you’re someone as famous as that. Speaking of which, who is the most famous person you’ve ever seen? And did you approach them?
Seth Meyers. I was at a Broadway play and Seth Meyers was three rows in front of me and across the aisle. I was talking to my cousins saying “Oh my god, should we go say hi to him? Should we approach him?” Then we saw this shmeeb come up and talk to him and Seth Meyers brushed him off and the guy walked away looking like an absolute loser… So yeah, we decided not to approach him.
Probably a good call. Next question is if you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?
RadioShack CEO, Dene Rogers.
What field of law would you like to go into?
I want to be a sports lawyer, which is kind of a made up job but there are a good amount of them. In the likely event that that doesn’t work out, because every kid in the world wants to work in sports, I would probably want to do something with labor and employment law– something where I’m fighting the good fight and helping out the little guy.
Who’s somebody that you admire, professionally?
Probably Red Sox General Manager, Theo Epstein, because he’s such a prodigy. But I also see a lot of myself, especially in physical stature, in the owner of the Charlotte Hornets, Michael Jordan, but you may not have heard of him.
Not to fish for compliments, but is there a specific newsletter of mine that stands out as your favorite?
Elementary School Nurse Flow Chart.
That one was so underrated. It somehow got zero likes and zero comments and the whole time I was like “what the fuck, this is gold” so thank you for appreciating it.
Last question, and then we move on to the ‘Rapid Fire Round’.
Why do you root for the Chargers in football? I’ve known you for a while and seen you support the Chargers, but I’ve never asked why an East Coast guy like yourself was such a big fan.
That’s a great question. So my mother and her parents are from San Diego, and one day when I was about six years old, my Nana took me to a Chargers outlet shop and got me a LaDainian Tomlinson bobblehead, and that was that! But now that they’re getting good everyone is going to think I’m a bandwagon fan.
Ok we are now entering the RAPID FIRE ROUND, where I ask you six quick questions. Something fun about the Rapid Fire Round is that I guessed what your answers would be before this interview began, so we’ll be able to see how well I know you.
You and I are both Jewish. Who is your favorite Jew, present company excluded?
My Guess: Larry David
Sam’s Answer: Larry David
Where’s your favorite place to eat in Ithaca?
My Guess: Wings Over Ithaca
Sam’s Answer: Souvlaki House (or DP Dough)
Chocolate or Vanilla?
My Guess: Vanilla
Sam’s Answer: Chocolate (but twist is ideal)
If there was a movie made about you, who would you want to play your character?
My Guess: Matt Damon
Sam’s Answer: Ryan Gosling
Have you ever noticed that if you break apart your last name, it says ‘Gross Man’?
My Guess: Yes
Sam’s Answer: This is actually the first I’m hearing of this
Who do you have winning the NCAA March Madness basketball tournament?
My Guess: Gonzaga
Sam’s Answer: Arizona
Sam, it was great to have you on the newsletter; thanks so much for your time.
Big fan of the show, just happy to be here.
So there you have it, folks; I guess I’m a professional journalist now! I am, officially, ready to interview a celebrity.
Andrew was tremendous. I highly recommend his services as an interviewer or alternatively as an electrician.