Normally, we only see “lifetime stats” for athletes, but why limit ourselves to things like ‘home runs’, ‘touchdowns’, and ‘three point percentage’ when there are so many more things to keep track of in this world.
Below are some of my most notable lifetime stats.
Shits taken: 22,547
Jokes that have successfully landed: 27%
C’s I got in college: 2
C’s I actually got in college: 3
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