How To Act At A Dinner Party

Ahhh, so you’re going to a dinner party and you need to know how to act. Jealous. I’ve never been to one. Thankfully, I’ve had the pleasure of observing many (don’t ask for details). Here are some tips and tricks to make sure that you do well at the dinner party and secure an invite to the next one!

What To Bring

First things first, you need to bring the host a gift. Nothing crazy, usually some antique silverware or a lamp will do the trick. Also, you need to bring a dish! Usually the host will have people bring dishes based on what they need more of, but when in doubt, just whip up some risotto. Have you ever heard someone say that their dinner party had too much risotto? Exactly. God I’d love to go to a dinner party some day. Do you have a plus one, by any chance?

Ok back to the advice.

What To Talk About

So now that you’re at the dinner party, it's absolutely imperative that you are interesting to talk to. If you’re just some square sitting in the corner and eating all of the risotto, you’ll never get invited back. That’s why you must go to a dinner party with several fun facts in tow.

Here are some fun facts that are sure to lead to some wildly engrossing conversations at your next dinner party.

• 36 people died in the Hindenburg disaster in 1937. To put that into perspective, that’s enough people to field 7 basketball teams!

• More than 1,500 people died when the Titanic sank; that’s enough people to field 300 basketball teams!

• 31 people died as an immediate result of the Chernobyl Nuclear Disaster in 1986. That’s the same year that the Mets won the World Series! Hell of a year that they’re having! Let’s Go Mets!

• 25 people died as a result of the Salem Witch Trials; that’s enough to field 5 basketball teams, or, perhaps more fittingly, 4 quidditch teams! 

• Over 25 million people died from the Black Plague in Europe during the middle of the 14th century. Imagine how many basketball teams that amount of people could field. By the way this risotto is so fucking good who made this?

When To Leave

When you’re done eating, drinking, and chatting about historical facts, it’s time to head home. Make sure to not overstay your welcome, always thank your host, and, most importantly, try as best as you can to “forget” an article of clothing at the host’s home so that they’ll feel obligated to see you again. 

I hope this helps!