How Much Close-Up Magic Is Too Much For A First Date?
I Did The Research So That You Don’t Have To
Is there any feeling in this world better than impressing someone with a close-up magic trick? No, seriously, I’m asking.
Regardless of whether or not it’s the best feeling in the world, it still feels pretty great to baffle people with a magical performance. I have gone on a slew of dates in order to test how many magic tricks is the appropriate amount in that setting. My findings are below:
0 Magic Tricks
Loser! What would your friends from magic camp think if they heard that you went on a date and didn’t do a single fucking magic trick? Stay true to your roots!
1 Magic Trick
Cool, but your date might just think that you got lucky. They might think that the pigeon that you pulled from your coat just got in there accidentally somehow and that you’re not a magician at all, but rather a freak with a pigeon in his coat without the mental capacity to realize that something was amiss.
2 Magic Tricks
Okay, now we’re talking. Once you pull the second pigeon from your coat, your date will absolutely know that you are a magician and that the bird didn’t just get there by accident.
3 Magic Tricks
In my experience, three magic tricks is the sweet spot. It’s just enough pigeons being pulled from your person to wildly impress your date and leave a lasting impression on them.
4 Magic Tricks
This is where things get tricky. With four pigeons stuffed into your coat, we start to encounter the issue of overcrowding. Four pigeons is a lot of pigeons to be stuffed into a coat. They can overheat and die when there are more than three in there. Then you’re not a magician at all, but rather a bird killer.
5 Magic Tricks
The pigeons in your coat will absolutely die if you put five of them in there. TRUST ME. I’ve tested this extensively. None of them will live. You’ll unzip your coat expecting the first pigeon to majestically fly freely away from you and your date but, in reality, all five pigeons will come crumbling out of your coat and fall to your feet. DO NOT do five magic tricks on a first date.
