“Can’t I Just Talk About Big Booty Latina Women For Once?” Pope Francis Appears To Be Tired Of Discussing Catholicism All Day

News out of the Vatican today as Pope Francis released an official statement that he’d like to talk less about God, Jesus, and Catholicism, and more about other things that he likes, such as pickleball, gambling, and thick, beautiful Latina women. 

“Damn, she’s dummy thick,” Pope Francis.

The news comes as a bit of a surprise to Roman Catholics, who are accustomed to hearing the Pope talk about normal Pope topics, like whether or not gay people have souls.

Some people are happy to see a more human side of God’s right-hand-man.

“I also love gambling and big booty Latina women, so I feel more inclined to go to church this Sunday knowing that Pope Francis enjoys those things too,” said Brett Lorimer, a Roman Catholic from Magnolia, Texas.

Other folks, though, were appalled by the Pope’s statement. 

“The Pope returned to the Vatican last week without his pectoral cross, one of the most sacred items that he owns, because he lost a hand of blackjack while on a visit to Monaco. His relationship with God must be mended fast if he still intends on spending an eternity in Heaven,” said Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re. 

Whether you’re Roman Catholic or not, I’m sure we can all agree that pickleball is pretty damn fun. Thanks Pope Francis for reminding us about what really matters in this world!

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Important Note

The origin of this idea came from my close friend, Eric Bohrer. Eric’s original thought was:

You ever think the pope just wakes up and is just not feeling talking about God that day. Like for f*ck’s sake, I’m 86 I’ve been talking about this guy every day for 80 years; can’t I just talk about the game last night or something?

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