Butts: the most confusing part of the human body

How can one thing be simultaneously gross and attractive? Well, folks, butts have been walking that tightrope since their invention 2,000 years ago when humans started wandering the earth. Butts are so confusing for a variety of reasons. 

Firstly, let's talk about plumber's cracks. For those unfamiliar with this concept, a plumber’s crack is when someone bends over and their pants slip down, revealing the top 5-10% of their buttcrack. This is one of the most vulnerable and unappealing positions that any person could ever be in. To reiterate, no one in the entire world can make a plumber’s crack hot, no matter how attractive you are.

So if the top 10% of someone’s butt is super gross to look at, then the bottom 10% must be super gross too, right? Wrong. Butt cheeks are not gross! They are wildly sexualized despite their proximity to the plumber’s crack region. 

This is a topic that has baffled scientists for years and a mystery that many people much smarter than me are still grappling with in labs across the world. I hope that one day we solve the mystery behind this enigmatic body part!