A ‘Wikipedia’ Page About Andrew Greene
I realize that not everyone knows who I am, so this will serve as a nice reference page for new subscribers who are interested in catching up on my life.
Andrew Philip Greene (born December 21st, 1997) is an American project coordinator, comedy writer, and jack of all trades. He is the writer of Toilet Read, a comedic Newsletter on Substack, and co-founder of the Mediocre Melodies, a sarcastic and philanthropic a cappella group at Cornell University.
Additionally, Andrew attempted to ride his bicycle across the United States of America after getting rejected from all 34 medical schools that he applied to. His journey was cut short but he documented his adventure on his poorly named TikTok page, AndrewBikesAmerica, as well as on a Facebook page also called Andrew Bikes America.
Early Life
Andrew was born in Mount Kisco, New York, and moved with his family (parents Liz and Mike and sister Samantha) to Yorktown Heights in 2001. Andrew was the first ever president of Brookside Elementary School, running on the clever campaign slogan of “Go Greene”, and graduated from Yorktown High School in 2016.
College
For his freshman year of college, Andrew attended Colgate University, where he studied Biology and made some lifelong friends. Greene then transferred to Cornell University at the start of his sophomore year, where he studied Biology and picked up a minor in Creative Writing.
There, Andrew Greene, his new pal Gabe Fuligni, and several other friends started a sarcastic a cappella group for bad singers, called the Mediocre Melodies. The group is entirely charitable and has, to this day, raised well over $20,000 for local organizations near Cornell’s campus in upstate New York.
Greene was also a tour guide, a biochemistry teaching assistant, a member of a social and pre-professional fraternity, a member of the club baseball team, a research assistant in a lab studying infectious diseases at Cornell’s vet school, and, most notably, he was featured on the cover of the Nice Jewish Boys of Cornell Calendar during his junior year.
Post College
After college, Andrew published two comedic stories, Bildungsroman Billy, and This Dog Claiming That He “Doesn’t See Color” Is So Fucking Cancelled in Little Old Lady Comedy and Slackjaw, respectively.
Andrew was also on a pre-medical track throughout college, but failed to gain acceptance to any of the 34 schools that he applied to. After graduating college, Andrew worked at a plastic surgeon’s office on the Upper East Side of Manhattan for a year, before quitting in order to try his hand at bicycle touring.
Bike Tour
After getting rejected from medical school and quitting his job in New York City, Andrew, who had never been camping or ridden his bike more than 45 miles, flew to Eugene, Oregon with his Trek 520 bicycle, a tent, and various other outdoor accoutrement. After taking a bus to the coastal town of Florence, Oregon, Greene set off east with New York City in his sights.
After cycling over 600 miles to Boise, Idaho, Andrew quit his bike tour on account of loneliness, stress, and mental and physical fatigue. He is still searching for a partner for his redemption bike tour across the country.
Current Life
Andrew is currently living in Gramercy Park, New York, and working in advertising as a Project Coordinator. In addition to coordinating projects, Andrew writes this Newsletter, edits a Newsletter for the popular sports media company, Jomboy Media, and dabbles in stand-up comedy on the side.
Although he doesn’t ruminate about it very often, Andrew does not think that he wants to reapply to medical school because it seems far too laborious.
Moving forward, Andrew wants to become a career project coordinator. Kidding. Andrew wants to utilize his creativity as much as possible and keep exploring the world of comedy writing or something fun like that.
See Also
References
Lived experiences
Shoutout to @ Max Trauring for the idea
you were also a member of the delta chi brotherhood